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Servants swarmed,restraining me.
Freedomwas just out of reach. I reached out, but there was nothing to hold on to.
No one listened.I’d always been insignificant here.
They sedated me.I lay on the bed,staring at the ceiling,afraid to close my eyes,fearing I’d wake in hell.
But sleep won.
I dreamed of my past,long buried.
My real dad loved his alcohol.When he was sober,he’d pat my head,give me cash,and smile,“Sweetie,go get Daddy a beer.”
I’d buy it,and he’d grin,“Good girl.”
But when he was runk,he turned into a monster,smashing chairs on Mom,cursing her for cheating,calling me a bastard who should’ve been killed at birth.
Mom used to protect me,but over time,she grew cold,glaring at me with hatred in her eyes.
She said I ruined her life,that I shouldn’t have been born.
I didn’t know what I’d done wrong,but if Mom said I was wrong,then I must be.
I apologized,but her hatred grew stronger.
One day,Dad dragged Mom from the elevator,knife in hand,ready to kill her.
He didn’t succeed.
I’d slipped him antibiotics with his beer.
He was rushed to the hospital but didn’t make it.
After he dead,Mom tried to abandon me.
She took me to an amusement park,promising my favorite ice cream.
I knew she planned to leave me there.
I waited all day,but no ice cream came.
Mom returned,crying,hugging me,swearing she’d never leave.
She broke that promise,always.
Soon,she married Mr.Hayes.
She introduced me to Lucas.He was a well - groomed boy, playing with the latest tablet, his expression cold and distant.
“This is your new brother now.Get along.”
I stood awkwardly,thinking,He has so much.He won’t take Mom from me,right?
I didn’t realize then that he didn’t have to compete for anything. Everyone revolved around him.
I had nothing,always.
Waking up,I slipped out,terrified they’d send me back.
In a thin dress,I stood on a bridge,looking out at the city.
Skyscrapers lined the river,lights glittering,the dark water shimmering despite the starless night.
I thought that if I could just float away on the waves under a starry sky, I’d finally be at peace.
Would I die alone,an island in silence,or float to the sea’s other side?
The city was alive with the sounds of cars and people, but I’d never felt so alone.
The salty wind stung my face.
My mind wasn’t fully healed.
Then or now,my life seemed to have no meaning.
Mom said it’d be better if I’d never been born,so she could’ve left Dad.
Dad called me a bastard,a waste of money,better dead.
Lucas said being loved by a lunatic like me was disgusting.
