Chapter 4
2438words
The first intervention was too crude, merely a desperate cry born of instinct. Like a novice, I fumbled with the strings of fate, only to play an even more sorrowful variation. I saved Lily, but at the cost of Sarah's remaining life. This realization burned like a red-hot iron, ceaselessly scorching my conscience day and night. I couldn't accept this outcome, absolutely not. I wasn't a god, just a selfish father, but I had to once again assume the role of a deity to rectify the deeper sin I committed with my own hands.
"Not enough, just shouting is not enough," I muttered to the sketch in my notebook. The drawing was crooked, marking the street corner, the bakery, Lily's and my positions, as well as the spot where Sarah might have stood, and the truck's path and possible braking distance. In recent days, I had combed through all publicly available reports about the accident, filling in every detail I could gather. "Shouting could only make her stop, but she was still within the danger zone. The driver swerved to avoid her, which was the direct cause of Sarah's accident."
My fingers moved across the sketch, simulating various possibilities. "What if… what if I didn't just shout?" My heart began to beat uncontrollably faster as a clear and bold plan took shape in my mind. "What if I could make that 'me' rush forward without hesitation while shouting?"
This thought sent shivers down my spine. It meant charging toward a high-speed truck. But so what? Exchanging my own injury, even death, for the safety of that mother and daughter—it was a deal I was willing to make, an incredibly worthwhile trade. The first time, I had unconsciously crashed through the door of time; this time, I would actively step through it with a precise map and a clear destination in mind.
"It's not about making her stop, but about moving her away from that coordinate." I marked Lily's position with a large red cross, then drew an arrow pointing toward the inner side of the sidewalk. My actions were decisive and cold, as if directing a chess game. "As long as she's pulled back, even just by a meter, the truck won't need to swerve abruptly. It can brake in a straight line and come to a halt. That way, Sarah will be safe."
This was a perfect plan. A plan where no one would get hurt. I looked at the finalized scheme in my notebook, and a sickly, fanatical smile crept onto my face. All I needed was a stronger "resonance"—a force powerful enough to drive that cowardly "me" to act without hesitation.
I turned off the desk lamp, and the room was instantly plunged into utter darkness. I picked up the kaleidoscope, and its cold, rough texture invigorated me. I could feel the crack on its lens, which seemed more pronounced than before, and my fingertips traced its distinct indentation. It was like a hungry monster, waiting to be fed.
I sat back in the chair, holding it up to my eyes but not looking through it immediately. I began to reminisce. What I forced myself to recall was no longer the image of Lily getting injured, but Sarah. I recalled her sitting in the wheelchair, her eyes as she smiled at me and said, "We're still here," the immense pain concealed behind that gentleness. I recalled the suffocating feeling when I clumsily helped her bathe and saw her two lifeless legs, their muscles beginning to atrophy. I recalled her quiet moans at night when she couldn't sleep due to nerve pain, biting her lips hard to avoid waking me.
These memories tore at my soul more than any scene of bloodshed. The guilt—the deepest guilt of having destroyed the life of my beloved through my own selfishness—shot through my body like a high-voltage current. My body began to tremble uncontrollably, my teeth chattering, making a clattering sound. This was it! This was the feeling! A force stronger and more concentrated than mere sorrow and regret!
"Sarah…" I squeezed her name from between my teeth, each syllable tasting of blood.
I gathered all my spirit, all my will, all my sin and punishment, and focused them on this single point. Then, I pressed my eye closer to the peephole of the kaleidoscope.
This time, I did not aim it at any light source. In the extreme darkness, I tried to illuminate it with my thoughts alone.
Boom—!
The resonance came a hundred times more intense than last time. It was no longer dizziness, but torture. My brain felt as if it were gripped by two invisible giant hands, being violently torn in opposite directions. My memories were no longer clear images but had turned into countless sharp fragments, churning madly in my consciousness, cutting into my nerves. I heard the sound of glass shattering—not a single crack, but the roar of billions of shards exploding simultaneously. I felt my soul stretched into an infinitely thin thread, being forcibly pushed through a hole smaller than the eye of a needle. The intense pain almost made me scream, but I clenched my teeth tightly, letting the metallic taste of blood spread in my mouth.
I couldn't give up! This was for Sarah!
With my mind firmly anchored to that spot—the corner of the street where the light rain fell, where that damned bastard was answering a call—I hurled this heart-wrenching pain and desperate resolve like a missile, slamming it straight into him!
Rush over! Forget that damned call! Rush over and grab her! Now! Immediately! Right this moment!
The agony of my consciousness being torn apart peaked, and then, everything came to an abrupt halt. I felt like a meteorite, piercing through the thick atmosphere, carrying burning flames, and crashing heavily into another dimension.
The icy raindrops instantly soaked my face. The honking of cars, the chatter of pedestrians, and the music from a distant store rushed into my ears like a chaotic symphony. I could feel the heavy briefcase in my left hand, while my right hand still held the slippery phone, and the person on the other end continued to ramble on about some budget deficit.
I "saw" all of this, but this time, I was no longer a bystander. I felt that I was him. Every cell, every nerve of his body was filled with my will.
"Dad, look, it's the ice cream truck!"
Lily's voice rang out, as clear as a dewdrop.
Now was the time!
Without a moment's hesitation, under the guidance of my will, "I" performed an utterly illogical action. He abruptly pulled the phone away from his ear, not even uttering a goodbye, and let it slip from his hand. The expensive smartphone crashed onto the wet sidewalk, its screen instantly shattering into a spiderweb of cracks.
"Lily!"
I heard "me" let out a hoarse roar, as if it were wrenched from the depths of my chest. But this time, the roar was not an end, but a beginning. Before the echo of the roar had faded, "I" had already charged forward like an enraged beast, disregarding everything. I could feel the explosive tension in my muscles, the sensation of leather shoes splashing through puddles of icy water.
Time seemed to slow down again. I saw Lily's small yellow figure about to take her first step onto the road. I saw the blue truck emerging from the corner, its massive body resembling a silent beast under the gloomy sky. Across the street, Sarah was holding an umbrella, her face lit up with a surprised smile upon seeing us, ready to wave.
Faster! Even faster!
My consciousness roared wildly, driving the body to burst forth with speed beyond its limits. Within two or three steps, it felt like I had crossed a century. Just 0.1 seconds before Lily's foot touched the asphalt, my hand—that "my" hand—finally grabbed the back hem of her raincoat.
I pulled hard, yanking her small body back into my arms. Startled by the sudden force, Lily let out a scream and fell onto the ground.
At that very moment, the truck passed by. It didn't notice us at all since we were still on the sidewalk. It didn't make an emergency lane change; its path was straight.
Wait… that wasn't right!
An unexpected detail emerged. The truck driver seemed startled by my desperate shout and sudden dash, and he instinctively hit the brakes. The heavy vehicle let out a piercing screech as it began to slow down. A black car closely following the truck, clearly not anticipating the sudden deceleration of the massive vehicle ahead, swerved in panic, trying to overtake from the truck's right side.
And then, that black car, like a bullet fired from a gun, lost control and rushed straight toward us!
There was no time left for me to think. Holding the petrified Lily, I relied on instinct and spun backward with all my strength, attempting to shield her with my back against the car.
I saw it. I saw Sarah's face twisted in fear across the street. I saw the out-of-control car rapidly growing larger in my pupils. I even saw the equally terrified expression on the young man's face in the driver's seat.
Then came a violent impact, as if my bones were being crushed.
I felt my body being tossed like a rag doll, but my arms instinctively tightened around Lily. An indescribable pain shot through my shoulder, but I couldn't feel it. All my senses were enveloped by a vast, transcendent force. I saw Lily safe in my arms, unharmed except for the shock. I saw the black car hit a fire hydrant by the roadside and come to a stop, the driver unhurt. I saw the truck veer into the middle of the road but hit no one. I saw Sarah throw aside her umbrella and rush toward me desperately.
A perfect ending.
I used my body to bear all the pain. I protected everyone I loved.
It was worth it.
The moment this thought flashed through my mind, an irresistible darkness suddenly devoured me. It was as if someone had turned off the power to the universe—all light, all sound, all sensation vanished in an instant. I fell into an endless, warm, and tranquil void.
I didn't know how much time passed—maybe a second, maybe ten thousand years.
The first thing to return was my hearing. I heard a suppressed, intermittent sobbing, and a voice so familiar it broke my heart, repeatedly calling my name.
"Mike... Mike, please, wake up..."
It was Sarah.
Then came another voice, young and tearful: "Daddy... Daddy, wake up... Lily will never run off again..."
It was Lily.
My eyelids felt as heavy as if they were glued together with super glue. It took every ounce of my strength to barely open them a slit. The glaring sunlight made me shut my eyes instantly again, but that brief glimpse was enough for me to see the scene before me.
This wasn't that unfamiliar, single-story bungalow. This was our home, the one I knew so well. The slightly outdated chandelier I had personally chosen hung from the ceiling, the landscape painting we bought for our wedding hung on the wall, and outside the window stood the familiar oak tree, its lush foliage casting dappled sunlight through the gaps in the leaves, filling the room with shimmering light.
I was lying down. On the bed in our bedroom.
I struggled to open my eyes again, and this time, I adjusted to the light. I saw Sarah and Lily lying by my bedside, both with red and swollen eyes, their faces streaked with tears, but those tears shimmered with an unbelievable, ecstatic glow.
"Daddy!" Lily was the first to notice I was awake. She cried out in delight, her voice breaking with excitement.
"Mike! Oh my God, Mike!" Sarah suddenly raised her head, and upon seeing my open eyes, she froze for a moment, then tightly covered her mouth with her hand. Tears of joy poured out like a breached dam. She wasn't in a wheelchair; she stood firmly by my bedside, her legs steady and full of strength.
It felt like I had just woken up from an impossibly long dream. Lily with her leg in a cast, Sarah in a wheelchair, that unfamiliar house, the kaleidoscope with its crack... Everything was fading like an old photograph, quickly becoming blurry and unreal in my mind.
"What... happened to me?" I spoke, my throat dry as if on fire, my voice so hoarse it sounded unfamiliar even to me.
"You're finally awake! You're finally awake, my dear!" Sarah leaned down, tightly gripping my hand. Her hands were trembling violently, and tears fell drop by drop onto the back of my hand, scalding hot.
Lily also moved closer, carefully rubbing her little face against my cheek and saying in a nasal voice, "Daddy, you slept for so, so long."
I looked at them, at this room so familiar it made me want to cry, my mind in utter chaos. My last memory was of that black car, the violent impact, and the darkness that swallowed everything.
"How… how long was I unconscious?" I asked with difficulty.
Sarah took a deep breath, trying to calm her emotions. Her red eyes were filled with relief after surviving the ordeal and an endless love. With a trembling voice, she clearly and deliberately told me about the "perfect ending" I had created myself, yet one that completely defied my expectations.
"Mike, listen to me," she said, gazing into my eyes, her voice filled with fear and gratitude. "A year ago, you were hit by a car while trying to save Lily. The doctors said… the doctors said you might never wake up."
She paused, tears once again blurring her vision.
"You've… been in a coma for an entire year."
